Writing How I Learned Its Okay to Ask For Help

Writing How I Learned It's Okay to Ask For Help As I embarked on my journey to become an English teacher, I would find myself worrying about my abilities as a writer. After taking a class my first semester that showcased my weaknesses as a writer, I began to question myself and wondered if maybe I had mistaken the calling I was so sure I had heard. Along the path on the rest of my three-year journey, however, I have found inspiration and have also come to realize that to love the English subject, I do not have to have the words or vision of Jane Austen or Emily Dickinson. In other words, I do not have to be a naturally great writer. I discovered that when I started seeking help and additional resources, I was not only able to achieve better grades, but I was also able to grow as a writer. We all have those moments in life that make us question everything. While attending Wake Tech Community College, I took an Argument-Based Research class. That class was that moment for me. Here I was, making the biggest decision of my life to l eave a job I’d been at for ten years to be an English teacher, and I am struggling with an English class. To be clear, I was by no means failing, but I was not getting all A’s and B’s either. I never understood what my instructor wanted from me and would spend hours on papers that received nothing but criticism and low grades. I was frustrated and I was too prideful to admit I was struggling or to seek help, but when my teacher decided to offer, I hesitantly accepted. The first time I sought out extra help was on my second paper for Argument-Based Research. My instructor assigned three major essays and three mini-essays. She realized that a lot of us were not understanding what she expected us to do after the first major essay, so she held an online webinar to walk us through the first mini-essay. I went to the gym and then, instead of meeting my friends for post-workout libations, I went home to participate in this webinar. I did not expect it to help, but I figured it coul dn't hurt either. My instructor took us step-by-step through her rubric and I outlined my paper as she continued. Once I had the organization of my paper down, it was easy to write the rest. I got an A! Then came the second mini essay. Feeling more confident this time, I wrote the paper without additional help and got a B, and more criticism. Feeling defeated once again, I asked my instructor for advice. Her advice has helped me write every paper I’ve written since then during my college career. Tutoring was not something I ever felt I needed. I was the one that made good grades naturally without studying. When my instructor suggested I send my papers to the tutoring center for revision, I was taken aback at first. I told my dad about the conversation, and he assured me that there was no shame in seeking extra help. So I did it, and my paper came back with positive comments as well as a ton of feedback. I was overwhelmed at first, and a little discouraged, but I read through the c omments and realized that I had been understanding some concepts wrong the whole time. One example that I remember is that I would refer to society as plural rather than singular. I also would slip out of third person without realizing it, which in the future, taught me to read my papers back to myself out loud. I made the necessary changes and got an A on my next paper, as well as the ones after that. While the tutoring center at Wake Tech was my greatest resource, I had to leave it behind when I began attending NC State in the Fall of 2015. Through my journey as a writer, I have learned lessons that will help me in the future as an educator. For example, if I am stuck or feel like I am not being effective in my lessons, I know it’s okay to seek help and additional resources. I realize that I do not have to be “great” at everything the subject of English requires of me. Proficient, yes, but not great. I also learned that there are people that want to help others succeed, and I hope to be one of those people to my future students.